“I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.”

Yes, I am using Ebony as a pun (for both an awful fanfic character and an infamous black culture magazine). Throw in some cultural relevancy with MJ and we have ourselves a blog photo.

Yes, I am using Ebony as a pun (for both an awful fanfic character and an infamous black culture magazine). Throw in some cultural relevancy with MJ and we have ourselves a sub-par blog photo.

I am living in Tallahassee. I sublet an apartment from a friend for cheap. My girlfriend is living with me because her roommate is a terrible person. Let me elaborate: her roommate is a bigot and leaves too many passive-aggressive notes.

I have yet to find work. I go through periods of trying very hard and then cycle to depressed discouragement. I worked on an organic farm one Saturday for $50. I tried to keep that going, but it did not pan out (many tedious factors contributed).

When I went to Japan, my grandparents gave me an embarrassingly huge sum of money that has fueled me through this summer and also made me feel extremely guilty in a spoiled kind of way. My grandparents live humbly yet dig deep to help provide for me. I don’t even know what they’re saying half the time — half being a very generous estimate. I am determined to learn more Japanese.

Somehow, I have managed to entertain myself in Tallahassee.

According to my Twitter posts this has included:

Visiting my parents (did some crafting with my mother, did some golfing/racquet ball with my father).

Visiting Gainesville and finally being 21 (went to free beer/karaoke and actually got to participate in the hoarding of plastic cups).

Getting ready for Ireland (mentally as well as physically)

Watching Ichi the Killer, Up, The Watchmen, Delicatessen, Cash Back, Battle Star Galactica and The Office (confusing, depressing, not as quirky as Amelie, charming, worth some of the hype, reliable — in that order).

Applying for places like Target, Kmart, Jimmy Johns, Borders, etc. etc. (I only got an interview at Borders and I was the seventh one that day).

Staying up too late (like tonight).

Playing nurse for my girlfriend who had a 102 fever for a few days (which I don’t think I caught, thank God).

Jogging in the evenings on the rape trail (I am not worried about being raped because the trail is scattered with “rape poles”)

Twittering @pattons (Yes, I am caught in the craze)

and today…

I picked out a frame at Crank It Up and am going to start building my own bicycle!

I think there was some jamming on my guitar in there as well.

Oh, and my girlfriend and I turned into middle schoolers and read terrible Harry Potter fan fiction and laughed our asses off all night. It was way better than seeing the movie’s premiere and much cheaper.

Here is the infamous “My Immortal,” which I only now discovered:


And here is a tongue-in-cheek Wikipedia-esque article about the above mentioned fan fiction:


I think our middle school selves devolved pretty far. We started looking up words on Urban Dictionary.com and making really immature jokes. We also started our own Harry Potter fan fiction, to be published soon under a pseudo name. If you ever stumble across an awful piece of fanfic garbage full of lewd sex and violence, all involving the Harry Potter cast, it may well be ours.

Neither of us like Harry Potter.


~ by shawp on July 16, 2009.

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