Please don’t quote that crappy Beach Boys song

I think someone I know has this.

I think someone I know has this.

I just got back from the Keys. I went with a friend’s family, which made the experience extremely cheap. All-in-all, I think it cost me about $25: $10 for sunglasses (I forgot to bring any) and $15 for the best Cuban meal of my life.

My posts on this blog are getting more and more sparse as time progresses.

It has been difficult getting around to updating this thing. Any minor effort at compiling my daily activities to display on the internet has been reduced to sporadic, A.D.D., Twitter posts. You know, Twitter, that revolutionary micro-blogging tool that is so popular amongst the young crowd.

In that vein, I have decided to end this blog post with a series of embellished Twitter posts of mine.

*** Went to hemmingways bar hangout last night: Rows of bras, photos of jimmy buffet, bad pop country covers, & a tree trunk.5:31 PM Aug 14th from txt

This bar was only a few steps off the beaten path, but that was enough to make it at least 50% less crowded than the other bars in town. It’s called Captain Tony’s Saloon, named after an interesting character who died quite recently. The place is a smoky, cosy old bar with a rich history that includes a prior-to-fame Jimmy Buffet (his first gig there was for $10 and two Budweisers) and Ernest Hemmingway’s (supposedly his original hangout). The Sloppy Joe’s down the street claims the title of being Hemmingway’s choice bar, but it should be noted that Captain Tony’s was the original Sloppy Joe’s in the ’30s.

There are plenty of hanging bras, business cards, dollar bills, photos and framed newspaper articles to please any drunken eye. The middle of the bar even has a tree trunk shooting through the roof. My gang had a blast there and I especially enjoyed learning about the place (because I am a nerd). Also, the house beer was delicious — a mild, but complex dark beer. The night ended with hiccups, two knocked over trashcans and a broken flip-flop; all contributions from one of our party who doesn’t drink nearly often enough for my amusement.

***An obese, unfriendly pediatrician seems kind of contradictory, but alas i have met one.11:46 PM Aug 12th from txt

This describes one of the family friends in our group: “the papa bear” and owner of the main luxury boat we used. Maybe, if I knew him better, I would think differently. As far as first week impressions go, he was kind of mean. I am glad to have gone snorkeling at Sombrero Reef on account of his boat, though. I had never seen a sting ray in the wild. I am also grateful for the bountiful seafood brought back each night by this fishing and lobstering crazed group of manly-men.

***The Fl Keys. Wish you were here! Raping the oceans with gas guzzling boats, excessive fishing and reef snorkeling.3:32 PM Aug 12th from txt

This same group I was with represents so easily how we are destroying the planet. After a day of only catching “smalls,” lobster that are too small to keep and thus illegal to eat, they decided to grill them up on the boat and eat them anyway before heading back to shore. So much for the lobsters repopulating. I think there’s a reason for their complaints of less lobster this season compared to past.

***I love tacky key west houses. Looks so much better in mass rather than just that one lonely house on your local neighborhood St.1:28 PM Aug 9th from txt

It made me think of a Tallahassee friend who’s parents have a very Key West house. I think they would be very happy in the Keys, a place full of arts, crafts and contradictions — like its cultural homogeneity of laid back solitude and excessive partying.

***Not sure if i really miss this place. Going to the keys in a couple days though. At least its somewhere new.4:40 AM Aug 9th from txt

Of course I am talking about Gainesville: My home, my hell. The Keys was definetely a new place. I was surprised to see wild iguanas and a species of tiny deer called Key deer.

***I don’t think UF’s international center could be more incompetent and confusing.7:56 PM Aug 7th from web

They are trying to screw me out of money. I will hopefully handle the situation next week when I visit Gainesville.

***More moving madness.4:41 PM Aug 4th from web

I believe I was helping my girlfriend organize the chaos.

***Wow, @DiannGoff892 wants sex, no strings attached. I better jump on that with the money I’ll be making from that nice Nigerian prince.1:57 AM Aug 4th from web

Junk mail can be highly entertaining for me. When my brothers and I were little, we would fight over the junk mail that was sent to our house.

***@roysyourboy Thanks. It’s like part of me is at the Screaming Marlin too.11:22 AM Aug 1st from web in reply to roysyourboy

So many of my belonging are scattered across Florida.

***I am becoming a moving pro. I think I should start tackling grand pianos on pulleys.12:45 PM Jul 31st from web

I seriously am considering it.

***Mouth party! I highly recommend Boca Fiesta.5:32 PM Jul 20th from web

Warren, owner of Boca Fiesta and previous drummer for Against Me!, talked about avocados with me! I was star-struck and enamored.  The food was genuinely (and I must admit, suprisingly) good.

***The grass IS greener on the other side. If you’re going to Ireland.5:29 PM Jul 20th from web

I leave on my voyage on the 27th of this month.

***Thought this was funny for all those “crab core fans” DSXF better jump on this band wagon/sensation quick.…10:42 AM Jul 20th from web

Whenever conversation goes to stupid YouTube videos, this has been my contribution. The band is Attack Attack. Their genre is crabcore and yes, they synchronize a guitar flip over their heads in the music video. It’s a mix of screamo, electronica and everything bad in music. It’s glorious, side-splitting material.

***It is nice to see all my friends in Gainesvile.6:38 PM Jul 19th from web

Despite the short nature of Tweets, I think I got everything across in this one.

***@roysyourboy Late nights are depressing. I think it’s because they’re technically mornings. They can’t even be labeled coherently.

We were both up way too late/early.

***@p4tr1ck Is that the tv you spent all your grownup money on?3:22 AM Jul 16th from web in reply to p4tr1ck

He was a good roommate. I miss many aspects of the house on 5th Ave. That specific kind of chemistry will probably never be found again.

***Harry Potter has inspired a new literary generation!…6:48 PM Jul 15th from web

I believe this is where I left off in my last blog post and thus, I end this one. You (the reader) are now caught up on my extraordinarily boring life.


~ by shawp on August 16, 2009.

2 Responses to “Please don’t quote that crappy Beach Boys song”

  1. Hi, I hope this does not sound creepy, but I have been desperately searching for someone who is from Japan to teach my Japanese for money, or other trade. I searched on google for Japan in Tallahasse, just to see, and your blog came up.

    Despite the oddness, we acutally seem to have a lot in common haha. I love all the bands i’ve seen you mention, and Dirty Fist played for me on my 16th birthday, I love bike building, and riding, and we have a lot of other stuff in common. If your interested in talking to me, just e-mail me back.

    • Sorry, I am really bad at responding to comments. I actually don’t know a lot of Japanese. I am also half way across the world right now. Good luck though!

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